Enough's Never Enough
by xlizardbreath
Summary: One-shot. He's my brother. I should be satisfied with just that. But enough's never enough to make a dent. Twincesty.


Okay so this is my first attempt at Boondock Saints fanfiction. Don't hurt me if it's OOC or anything. Dx I got the idea for this listening to the song "Too Late" by No Doubt. The story is supposed to go along with the song and the lyrics in the beginning are from the song. Supposed to be set with the brothers as teenagers.

**I own nothing.**

**Warning:** Yes, there will be twincest-like behavior and some cursing. And I didn't attempt to make their dialogue seem phonetically correct with their Irish accents. I suck I know. But I didn't want to butcher it or anything. Dx

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_It's too late now._

_I don't think it can fade._

_It's too real now._

_Fulfillment just adds fuel to the blaze._

Originally it was meant to mean nothing. A stupid action done on the whim of an impulsive dare. We'd always been that way though. Testing the limits of sanctity and pushing them beyond what was considered normal behavior.

Something was different this time though. As children we had played many games like this alone in our room together. We'd always been the type to push boundaries. Dare the other to go even further then you had. It had all been relatively innocent. That is until last night.

Conner and I had been up playing one of our "non-existent borders" games and he'd claimed I wouldn't be able to hold out long enough as he shoved a hand down the front of my boxers. He'd done it swiftly; in and out without so much as grazing my abdomen and I held out. However, not without that uncomfortable feeling of a swarm of bees suddenly trying to find a way out of my stomach.

I sort of stared at him for a few moments, a grin slowly beginning to bloom across his lips. And I couldn't help my own impish expression from spreading. I'd always been somewhat of a joker. Conner instead taking the slightly more serious role. When he needed to be at least. He almost always took charge when the action was required. That's why he was the older brother.

Because a quiet silence had enveloped us in our moment of idiotic grins quickly fading into awkward half-smiles Conner proceeded to punch me in the arm. "Your turn." He punctuated the sentence with another playful jab at my upper arm.

I laughed a little, responding to him I suppose as my mind groped around for something stable. Something that made sense because right now everything was a jumbled mess. I knew deep down there was something wrong with me when I thought less and less about girls and "accidentally" spied on my brother jerking off. There was nothing accidental about it. Thankfully he hadn't noticed though.

I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I eyed him. My mind had conjured up a dare only I was capable of and Conner stared at me thoughtfully as my face twitched back into that grin. His lips mirroring my own as he got the hint. I'd come up with something.

I licked my lips acting on impulse now as I had so many times before. I wasn't going to tell him what I was going to do. Instead take him off-guard. Come on… I was the younger brother. I was supposed to pull stupid stunts like this. It still worried me though. I wasn't that carefree all the time.

Nevertheless, I worked up the nerve and leaned forward catching his lips with mine in an open mouthed kiss. We'd already been sitting close enough to one another so I didn't really have to stretch too far to get close enough to him.

Conner was definitely caught by surprise. He didn't move though. Didn't shove me away. Didn't do anything. Just sat there, almost statuesque.

I bit at my lower lip, dry by now. It only took a beat and then I was laughing like it had all been a joke. Like I didn't have any underlying intentions in stealing a kiss from my twin brother. "You passed!" I clapped his shoulder with my hand and continued laughing. With any luck this would end up being a distant memory. Something we only brought up to have a laugh about how stupid we were as kids.

Luck was not in my favor apparently because Conner still hadn't moved. He turned his head to face me dead-on and his brow furrowed almost angrily. Lovely. I should've known this would happen.

He opened his mouth as if to speak and I was immediately regretting my impulsive behavior. Sometimes I wish I could be more analytical like him. Thinking things through before just doing them. But before I could continue that train of thought he'd made a sound. Was that voice? Had he been talking to me this whole time? I was pulling the little brother again; getting lost in thought as he was saying something most likely important.

"What the fuck was that?" His voice was more confused than accusatory, but I still felt a slight flinch at the question.

I got defensive as I often do with my brother. "It's just a game! You stuck your damn hand down my pants and you're getting all pissy about a stupid fuckin' kiss?"

I didn't think about at the time, but there was a possibility our voices could have woken up Ma. I was almost shouting, but luckily she didn't seem to hear.

He became angry then, for a reason I really wasn't sure of, and we got into another one of our scuffles. We were a mess of limbs and scrapes. Swearing and blood. Most of the time our fights were playful, but not this time. This time when he went at me I was scared he really wanted to hurt me. But that just made me retaliate with just as much fury.

Eventually he had me pinned to the floor and was glaring down at me. My chest heaved up and down as I stare right back at him. Crystal blue meeting its reflection. He seemed determined with something hanging on the edge like he was about to berate me for being such an idiot. Or insult me or something. I braced myself, ready for anything.

However, I was apparently not ready for everything. When his lips met mine in a kiss resembling the one I'd just given him my eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets.

He pulled away, still hovering over me with his eyes now more pensive then incensed. He blinked and cleared his throat. "Guess it wasn't just a _stupid fuckin' kiss_, eh?"

Conner was about to stand up and walk away when I was able to grab at one of his wrists and topple him over. Gaining the initiative I'd never felt the need to take as the little brother. The way he'd mimicked my own words right back at me had an effect I never expected. Was he battling with the same thing as I was?

I mashed my lips to his own in yet another open-mouthed kiss. This time determined I would not pull myself away if I suffocated. Or at least until he threw me off. It was a gamble I decided to finally take. Let my brother in on my deep dark secret because maybe just maybe he had a similar one to tell.

I felt his surprised gasp into my mouth before a tongue met my own searching one. A battle between the two beginning. I smirked a little at the feeling as I crouched over him, hips pressed against his own.

The electrifying sensation I got from having my brother and most of his exposed body pushed up so closely into mine was sinful if nothing else. I knew everything about this situation was completely and utterly wrong, but I just couldn't feel satisfied. I wanted more. And mostly because it seemed like he did as well. I couldn't have been happier at the recognition. The click that both of us shared this corrupt desire for one another.

I began to bring my fingers slowly up his sides, feeling him move beneath me from the touches and the soft breathy moans he was making made it all the more worthwhile. With my hands occupied in exploring terrain they'd never touched in such a way my mouth went for Conner's neck, sucking at it. He breathed in shakily as I did so, his own hands reaching around my shoulders.

It shouldn't feel this good to have your brother lightly caressing the skin over your shoulder blades. Reaching hands that came from the same womb down to knead around your sides. It shouldn't arouse you that your own flesh and blood is squirming beneath you and his mouth is so hot finding places on your body you never knew could make you feel that way. This should most definitely not feel this good. But it does.

I shudder from the feeling of his teeth, lips, fucking tongue lapping at the spot between my shoulder and neck. Biting it to have me hissing from the feeling. He chuckles then and that's when he reclaims his position as older brother, rolling me over in one swift movement so I'm now on my back and he's straddling my hips.

He grins at me triumphantly and again I can't help but smile back, but then his face goes slightly serious. He's been thinking obviously. It only took him a few seconds to roll this around. To realize how horrendously wrong this is and as the older brother make sure it never happens again. That we write it off as hormones or something.

I frown slightly because I know what he's thinking. Know what he's going to say. It was only a matter of time. I guess this was never meant to be anything despite what I felt. It should never have even been allowed to grow. "It was just another one of our stupid games over dominance, Conner. Enough of that, right?" I wonder if he knows how hard it was for me to say that. To be rational and just pretend it doesn't matter.

He stares down hard at me, light brows pulling themselves together. "The fuck?" That's all he says before lightly slapping the side of my face and I'm confused and irritated all over again. Not another scuffle. It's getting old.

"Enough's never enough to make a dent, Murph." And when he says that I'm about to punt him off of me because I have no idea what that means and I'm pissed off now. But I'm taken off-guard. He's covering my mouth with his own, locking our lips in a kiss I didn't expect.

I think I get it now though. And though I know this is very wicked I hope I'm right in believing there will never be a stopping point. Where enough is enough. In the back of my mind my rationality is telling me something like this between brothers can never really be. That it's doomed from the start, but the optimist in me, the impulsive person I am doesn't care and all I want to do is keep it going. Add more fuel to the blaze.

_Compulsion has stained me._

_I'm nervously cradling our young love._

_Without known limits love._

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I would love to get some feedback on this. If you hated it. Loved it. Whatever. If you've got criticism please make it constuctive. I don't wanna see things like "Why did you put them together? That's so wrong!" You knew it was going to happen and yet you kept reading? Let me know how I can better this because I want to write more on the brothers MacManus.

P.S. I felt like I should give props to writers like DrainBamage, PurpleRanger, and space raider who inspired me through their awesome fics. You should read their stuff.


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